Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Act of Forgiveness

Hey guys! How are you, I hope you’re doing well. This blog will be kind of different because this is a serious topic. Forgiveness. When should you forgive a person? How can you ask yourself to forgive that person? How can you tell that you’re ready to forgive? Why is it hard to forgive?

According to Wikipedia,  Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'. The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven.

In a relationship, you will experience hardships and problems. It’s not always joy and happiness. There will be times when you will go on a rough patch together. Sometimes, just one mistake can change your life forever. When you hurt the person you love, it will cause hate, anger, pain and sadness. A sadness that will envelop your life and eventually make your life miserable. It’s hard to ask for forgiveness if you are the cause of someone’s pain. But it’s hard to forgive if you’re hurt and betrayed. How can someone ask for forgiveness? When someone you care the most hurts you, it’s really hard to forgive. You want to look for ways to revenge and hurt that person.  But the question is, are you going to be happy after?

Forgiveness is generally a decision to let go of the pain, resentment and thoughts of revenge. What are the benefits of forgiveness? According to Dr. Katherine Piderman Ph.D, Letting go of grudges and bitterness makes way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:
§         Healthier relationships
§       Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
§       Less stress and hostility
§        Lower blood pressure
§        Fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain
§        Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

If you’re the person who asks for forgiveness, sort your thoughts. Analyze your mistakes. Admit it and look for ways to correct it. It’s not easy to ask for forgiveness, it takes all the courage to admit your mistakes. Be sincere; don’t ask for forgiveness if you don’t mean it.

If you’re the person who experienced pain and sadness learn to forgive. If you’re unforgiving you may pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and problems on your next relationships. People may think that you don’t listen. You may lose your friends and it’s unhealthy. It’s hard to forgive yes, but after you forgive someone eventually you will feel better, forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility of hurting you, it will bring you peace that will help you go on with your life.

So what I’m trying to say here is if you are in a relationship, be open with each other. Talk and communicate, that’s the most important factor of a relationship. If you don’t talk and share you’re feelings it will cause a lot of pain after. You have to talk about your problems and work together to fix it. Love one another. Be honest. It’s not just the best policy but it will help you earn someone’s trust.

Forgiveness is not something we do for other people, we do it for ourselves - to get well and move on.

Thank you again for reading my blog.
This has been Abby saying I heart you and I forgive you all!! Adios!
Much love,


Ani Adams said...

great blog! really enjoyed reading this!